We are thrilled to share another guest blog this month, from a friend and colleague who is in a seasonal change in life. Deb has worked as a counsellor and supervisor in the Manawatū for many years and will have also had a role in training and mentoring many new counsellors into their craft. Now as she enters a new phase of life, retiring from paid employment, we invited her to reflect on this seasonal change and share her thoughts for our blog. It seems fitting to think about such a seasonal change as we have just celebrated Matariki and as we continue to move through winter and head to spring.
How do you feel about retiring?
I have noticed a few responses since I made the decision to retire six months ago. The complexity of feeling various emotions simultaneously always astounds me. Naturally I am excited and happy about new possibilities emerging which will include time to travel, garden and enjoy more gathering with family and friends. I am also sad to say goodbye to the people and the profession that I have invested so much time into. I also felt a bit nervous about the loss of income as I learn to rely on the ‘pension’ – which leads to a reality that my age has had a significant impact on my decision.
How do you know it is the right time to retire?
I have been looking for signs of ‘readiness’ to walk away. I was thinking it might be losing interest in the conversations or just wanting to be somewhere else. Those signs have not appeared, I remain focused and passionate of the work of supervision, so the decision has been more of an intentional one to live out a dream of retirement with my husband as we age together. There is also huge pressure from society when you reach ‘old age’ and get the gold card that you can now retire, implying that you must. Although I didn’t need permission or get convinced that I should make the decision it does feel right for us as a couple.
What will you miss about the work?
PEOPLE would be my top response. I have met and worked with some amazing people, all doing incredible jobs. We have had some rich collegial conversations over the years that have taught me a lot. Even though we must do professional development, I will also really miss the learning that has given me.
What have you enjoyed the most about your supervision work over the years?
I am passionate about the work we call supervision. I have also been keen to help support people realize their own potential. It has been a pleasure to support people in forming and developing their own professional identity, by becoming aware of their strengths and abilities to do the work they are in. It has also been exciting to witness the ‘reflective practitioner’ emerge in most of the people I met with which has supported their practice.
What aspect of your work are you pleased to walk away from?
That has to be paperwork! Doing reports, notes and invoicing, all very necessary but procrastination would always visit when these tasks needed to be done.
What are you most looking forward to in the future? What will give you purpose?
I am looking forward to the gift of time. Being available to connect with people, to explore new possibilities, to make travel plans. Having ‘free’ time, without expectations from others is a nice thought. Although time is a strange commodity, I want to use it wisely and continue to balance how I use it.
What advice would you have to someone stepping into supervision for the first time?
- Have a passion for people and the profession
- Try to encourage people along the way, supervision will be more enjoyable when you celebrate together.
- Let honesty be your friend
- Learn to say the ‘hard stuff’ well – supervisors are the gatekeepers for the communities we serve, we need to be an ethical and safety lens for professional practices
- The people you are in conversation with may be your best teachers, so listen well to their experiences
- Embrace the challenges that come through supporting other people’s practices.
And finally any last words or reflections?
I have had an incredible career which includes supervision. From an early age I had the desire to be a counsellor, this led to being a supervisor and a trainer in counsellor education and supervision. I have been supported by so many colleagues, family and friends along the way, which has offered me insight and wisdom.
Thank you all for believing in me and joining me in the ride of my life.
Debbie Gray, Counsellor and Supervisor
The Project Team say thank you Deb, for the support and inspiration you have brought to us as your colleagues and to all the counsellors, counselling students and supervisors you have worked with. We all hope to be able to one day walk into a new phase of life, still with the passion and love for the professional world that you still hold. All the best with the ‘time’.
Ngā mihi nui
Rod, Karen and Chris